Caro Frazer

insight | support | change

People are complex. We are frequently knocked out of shape and sometimes it feels difficult to function. That is how we are made; we are deeply social, relational beings. We yearn to be loved and understood, we crave appreciation and acknowledgement and we need to feel safe. And yet it can be hard to get what we need all of the time, or even some of it. We show a front to other people and tell them we’re fine when we’re not.

There are times in life when we feel that things have gone wrong and we don’t know what to do to feel better. At these moments we can feel out of control and struggle to cope. It could be that we suspect difficult experiences in the past are affecting our lives now or that a relationship is caught in a never-ending loop.

All this is normal and it happens to us all, often many times throughout life. It’s so important that we can ask for help without feeling ‘like a failure’ or that spending money and time on ourselves is self-indulgent. On the contrary, counselling can be the best investment we ever make – not just for ourselves but also for those we love.

Sometimes we wonder if our habitual ways of being in the world are not helpful to us. But we think, feel and behave the way we do for very good reasons. Things become problematic when those reasons no longer fit our current circumstances. In counselling, you have the space to talk through what’s causing you difficulty. When another person really listens to what you say, without judgement or offering their own opinion, you can then really begin to listen to yourself, begin to trust your own voice and understand what you need.

What it’s like working with me

Clients have told me that when they are with me they feel understood and safe. They feel able to voice the thoughts they’ve not been able to say, even to themselves. Being able to express our whole self is vital in understanding what is troubling us. We will form a collaborative relationship in which I will support you in taking the first steps on the best path for you.

My intention is not to advise or to guide, but to offer a supportive and therapeutic space where you have the opportunity to untangle your emotions and sift through those elements of your life that you are dissatisfied with. I will draw on my knowledge of various theoretical approaches as and when I feel that may be beneficial. I will strive to understand how life is for you, to listen to you fully and offer back to you what I hear. Through this, you will be able to properly understand yourself and know what you need to be different. It might mean changes in your relationships, in the way that you talk to yourself, or how you perceive and react to others.

I believe that counselling is about growing your awareness of how you behave in the world and of allowing yourself more choice in your responses. As you grow your awareness, you are more likely to behave in a way that ensures you will get what you need and through that you will feel more at ease with yourself and with those around you.
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